"Good Grief": The Pain, the Process, and the Unexpected Gifts

"Good grief!"—if you grew up with Charlie Brown, you’ve heard the phrase a million times. It’s usually said with exasperation, frustration, or disbelief. And honestly, isn’t that how grief feels sometimes? A big, overwhelming mess of emotions that makes you want to throw your hands in the air and say, Seriously?!

But what if grief—real, raw, heartbreaking grief—could also be good? Not good in the sense of enjoyable (because let’s be real, it’s not), but good in the sense of meaningful, transformative, and deeply human.

The Unexpected Good in Grief

• Grief is often painted as something to endure, something we just get through so we can return to normal. But the truth is, grief is not just about loss—it’s also about love, about remembering, and about reshaping the way we carry the people and things we’ve lost.

  • Grief Deepens Our Capacity for Love The pain of losing someone is directly tied to the love we had for them. When we grieve, we are reminded of just how deeply we cared. That love doesn’t disappear—it transforms. It teaches us to cherish moments, to love harder, and to appreciate the people still with us.

  • Grief Teaches Us Emotional Resilience Grief forces us to sit with emotions we’d rather avoid. It teaches us patience—with ourselves and with others. It reshapes us, proving that we are capable of surviving even the hardest days. And in that survival, we find strength we never knew we had.

  • Grief Connects Us to Others If you’ve ever shared your grief with someone who truly understands, you know the power of connection in loss. Grief is universal, yet deeply personal, and when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we create space for healing—not just for ourselves, but for others, too.

  • Grief Sparks Creativity and Purpose So many incredible works of art, music, literature, and even movements for change have been born from grief. Creativity gives us a way to express what words cannot. Whether it’s painting, writing, crocheting (hello, healing hands and hearts!), or simply sharing our stories, grief can be a powerful force for creation.

    
    

  Embracing Good Grief

  There’s no “right” way to grieve, but there are ways to find goodness in it. That goodness might look like:

  • Allowing yourself to fully feel the emotions instead of pushing them away.

  • Finding creative outlets to process your pain.

  • Connecting with others who understand.

  • Honoring your loved one’s memory in meaningful ways.

  
  

  Grief is never easy. But maybe, just maybe, it doesn’t have to be only sorrow. Maybe it can also be love in motion. Growth. A reminder of what truly matters. Maybe, in the midst of all the bad, there can also be good grief.